I am not one of those women who fantasize about becoming a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom). I will repeat… this is not something I feel passionate about- it is not even something I am sure I will ENJOY- and yet here we are. I was a SAHM once upon a time, for a brief minute. Notice I say- a BRIEF minute. I didn’t enjoy it. In fact I pretty much despised it. (GASP!) I had only one child, and a special needs child at that. He was whiny, he was clingy, and he drove me insane. You guys, this was back before FACEBOOK was even a “thing”. (Showing my age a bit here).
I didn’t even have internet.
I didn’t even have a SMART PHONE.
I had a flip phone- a freaking huge flip phone, that had texting capabilities (Thank GOD), but that was literally my only contact with life on the outside. I didn’t have a car, and I lived in a town that didn’t even technically have a convenience store (though there was one about a mile or so away on the out skirts of town). I was stir crazy and depression set in quite easily.
It didn’t take long for me to head back into work, and that is where I have been for the last 10 years. For the past 10 years I have been teaching in a Head Start or Head Start/ Pre – K classroom. I loved my job! I loved absolutely everything about it (ok… maybe not EVERYTHING) but I for sure loved teaching and loved the kids with all my heart!
Unfortunately due to circumstances completely beyond my control- I will NOT be returning to the classroom next week when all the other teachers show up. 🙁
This year… my kids will go to school without me- and I will be alone for the first time in about 11 years. (Since before my oldest was born!)
It will be a short time “alone” as the baby will be here in November- but still a time none the less and I am unsure what to do with myself! Everyone says to enjoy the time. Everyone talks about how lucky I am to be staying home with the baby. EVERYONE. I’m quite sure my husband is even secretly “jealous” of my chance to stay at home and not work full time like he will still be continuing to do.
Me? I’m not quite so sure of myself. I am not really the “stay at home” type. I love my kids (and kids in general), but I get stir crazy, and I can only take so many days of “Betty Homemaker” before I start to lose my mind. One could argue that I am a SAHM every summer and it shouldn’t be much different than that. Let me tell you… IT IS.
Summer has an ending! Summer has a light at the end of a long tunnel. Summer doesn’t last FOREVER. Plus summer is busy, and lots of people are doing things and we get invited places and have a good time. All my kids are home and we have days where we do cutesy little things and I pretend to be an awesome SAHM, and of course days where I want to pull my hair out- but I always know that it will end eventually. The kids will go back to school- I will go back to work, and our life will return to normal (or something like it).
This year will be different. This year I will be transitioning back to a FULL TIME “Imperfectly Perfect Mommy” and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
If you are interested in the journey be sure to stay tuned as I walk you through this “Imperfect Transition” and hopefully we all learn something useful along the way.
What about you? Are you a SAHM or a working mom? How long? Do you long to stay at home or are you happy working?
Anyone out there like me or am I pretty much just unfit for this thing called motherhood?
Jenna is a former Early Childhood Educator who now spends her days chasing after her four rambunctious children all while pursuing a freelance writing career, guest posting, writing for the website Mommyish, and running her own blog. As a writer, she is passionate about bringing charisma and color to everything she writes. You can find out more about Jenna by visiting her website or by clicking the social media buttons below.